26 October 2013

Dear Molly, tonight you were sad...

Being your Mummy is not always rose tinted. But that's life. Tonight was one of our more challenging evenings as tiredness caught up with you. Because you're little you can't walk as far as me and I have to remember that your emotions are the same. Your tired state meant you couldn't cope with "no" or "bedtime" particularly well and tonight it brought on a tantrum. 
Your little tantrums have the same phases regardless of the cause. Feet stamping-shouting-fake crying-me getting annoyed-real tears because Mummy's sad-lengthy recovery from the whole episode-hugs and repeated "that's why I love you Mummy"s  so as not to leave me thinking that this whole affair was because you didn't. Well, for the record, I love you too baby. Somehow even more when you have a tantrum because I want to reach out to you. To make you better. To dry your eyes. But I have to accept that, sometimes, you just need to work it out yourself. That's the best way to deal with your problems I know that. I also know that I can't fix everything but I will always be here when you're ready for a cuddle and will try to make you smile again.
You calmed down and through the last of your sniffs and sobs you told me that you did "want to be an explorer and think of all the animals who live in the sea Mummy". It's your favourite bath game and five minutes earlier you didn't want to do it "that's why I am too sad Mummy." I was glad your sadness had subsided enough for normality to return and was delighted when your sad little face turned into the tiniest of smiles at my, frankly quite poor, octopus impression as we duly thought of all the sea creatures we could. 

And all warm and dry in your pyjamas you climbed on my lap and asked if we could read The Smartest Giant in Town again. We read it last night when you weren't sad and I think you wanted to recreate that feeling by reading it again. I sometimes misjudge how much you take in. I think my stories just entertain you for that night and that you just look at the pictures but you really do listen. Tonight you made me stop at the end so you could tell me that "his shirt is on a boat as a sail for a goat. His tie's a scarf on a cold bee(gi)raffe. His belt helped a dog cross a bog and his shoe is a house for a mouse." And then you declared how kind George was and how all the animals were really happy now. I told you I was really happy too and we had a big cuddle. You made me sing the "sunshine song Mummy" (a last bit of reassurance that everything was ok) and I tucked you in to your little bed with Right Bunny and Teddy. Sweet dreams sweetheart. I love you moon and back million times. 

Mummy x

"You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away" ~ You Are My Sunshine, Jimmie Davis & Charles Mitchell (1939)

16 October 2013

Dear Molly...you're 3 tomorrow

You were snuggled next to me in bed the other day watching Dora the Explorer and you just reached over to me without looking and put your hand on my arm for a while. That silent little show of affection meant the world to me. 

Tonight you tripped over your Lego box and hurt your knee. You were also tired so we had a big cuddle afterwards. I kept asking if you were happy now and you shook your little head solemnly. I think you knew Mummy wanted cuddles and it may delay bathtime a little to extend the period of trauma. I said it made me sad when you were not happy and through the sniffs and sad eyes you put your little hand on mine and patted it. Just letting me know you were ok really....but not quite ok enough to go to bed!

It was your 3rd birthday weekend this weekend and we had the most perfect party for you. All of our close friends and family came and everyone had a wonderful time singing and dancing with Mr Melody. You declared it was the best party EVER on numerous occasions and towards the end you said you'd had "the best day in my whole life Mummy." I welled up a little because that's your longest measure of time and it's still so short because you're so little. Mission accomplished anyway. I couldn't ask for much more than having created the best day in your whole life!

You used the word 'behold' the other day. At not quite 3! You pretended to blow a bubble through your hula hoop and said "Behold Mummy! The biggest bubble in the world!" My funny, clever, caring, sweet, chatty and sociable little baby has been here for 3 whole years and they've been the best 3 years ever.

Happy Birthday darling. I love you to the moon and back a million times. Mummy x

8 October 2013

Dear Molly.....ti voglio bene

Auntie Lulu and I are just back from our 'Mums on the run' weekend in Italia. You had a lovely weekend in Holt. 

It is healthy for you to have a few days with Nana and "Dangad" and healthy for me to have some grown up time away with my friend. I want you to have experiences and time away. I don't relish being away from you but I know it helps you to develop your personality and teaching you to be independent is so very important to me. Having said all that, however much I talk about my long awaited girls' weekend I will sheepishly admit that there was a little void where my chatty, curly haired little girl usually is. 
Us in our beautiful 30's chic Italian cafe on the seafront in Pescara.

You would love Abruzzo. We've been going since 2006 and you will go one day too. I really long to show you the places which are important to me.
The view across to the farm from just up the mountain on Piano Domini. 

I want to show you the mountains. I know you'll be as awestruck by their beauty as I am every time I see them. On our trip we drove across the mountains in the picture below from Caramanico Terme to Pacentro. 
We'd never been to Pacentro which is allegedly one of the most beautiful, well preserved, medieval villages in Italy. It can also boast that it was where Madonna's grandparents came from. We managed to find the Ciccone name on the statue pictured below delighting us by giving the Madonna connection some credibility. 

Pacentro was amazing. Welcoming, beautiful, steeped in history dating back to the 9th century and capable of knocking up the most amazing lunch! One day I'll take you there. 

Pacentro from the road winding away above it and up the mountain. 

I had a wonderful time in Italy. As you know I bought you a little snow globe from Caramanico and telling you I had a present for you and then giving it to you compares equally to all the amazing experiences I had on my trip.

We had the nicest little chat too.

You said, "Mavis hugged me at school Mummy. Like you do"

I replied, "But Mummy's hugs are better?" Not wishing to be outdone by Mavis.

Matter of factly you replied, "No. Mavis is better"

But then you said, "Don't look sad Mummy. Mavis is better at hugs. Like you are better at hugs too" Never has your misinterpretation of the meaning of a word pleased me so much. Yes darling, we can both be better.

Buonanotte baby. I love you x