31 January 2014

I want you to grow up strong

There's a strange paradox I feel in that I want to protect you from things you don't need to worry about whilst also wanting you to help me through my difficult times. That may sound selfish. It does, I can hear it. I don't believe I am the only one who has selfish thoughts from time to time. It's nothing I'd act on. It's just a feeling. I can't control it.

When something's on my mind it should be a welcome relief that you're happy, unaware and only concerned with whether Poppy the monkey would mind if Liony borrowed her handbag for a little while. Instead of being a distraction though, your blissful ignorance increases my worry. I now also have to contend with this overwhelming desire to protect my little girl from the worries of the grown-up world. That responsibility weighs heavily on me sometimes.

So whilst I want you to tell me what decisions to make and comfort me when I'm sad, my natural and overwhelming instincts are to shield you from all the bad stuff. And that's what I do.

You've been poorly this week. 

It's like when you're ill, or dealing with your Talipes. I would always rather it was me than you. Although, I have come to realise that children deal with that stuff much better than adults do. It might sound harsh but you'll never hear me pouring out watery platitudes about how brave you are with your boots and bar (you know no different, it's not bravery) or how your latest cold or flu virus is so unfair (they go round all of the children, every year). Don't get me wrong, I worry about you constantly, that's nature. But I also know that, actually, when you're ill, you just need to be warm and safe with good food and lots of sleep. I want you to grow up resilient and strong. Not feeling as though your boots and bar are in some way punishing or that a winter virus is the end of the world. My favourite thing about this week has been your determined insistence that, "I'm not poorly. It's just a little cough Mummy. I will be better in the morning." That is how we deal with these pesky viruses! 

Tonight you said, 

"Why did you not bring me a toy home tonight Mummy?"
"I wasn't supposed to was I?"
"Yes Mummy"
"That's why you love me Mummy"

You still use "that's why" in place of "because". And that is (one of the many reasons) why I love you sweetheart.

"Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands." - Anne Frank

19 January 2014

I love you a little bit more today

It sounds silly. It might be because you let me put your hair in a pony tail (you never normally do and I had to bribe you with a chocolate button). You look a bit more grown up somehow. So pretty. But more little girl than toddler.

You've been quite pensive today and asking a lot about when you were a baby. We tried to talk about before you were born. You couldn't grasp the concept. 

"But where was I then Mummy?" 
"You didn't exist then sweetheart. It was before you were born?"
"But where was I?"
"You weren't anywhere?"
"Was I all alone somewhere?"
"No baby. You were with me."
We had a big hug and decided to talk about that another time.

You've been a bit scared of things today. The cross rotten tomato in Bubbleguppies upset you this morning. I'm not sure you'll be an adrenalin junkie when you're older. You like things on an even keel. You're only 3 though. Plenty of time to develop a liking for adventure! 
Hiding from the whale in Wonderpets this afternoon

Feeding the ducks today

Mummy jumped in puddles too

Your Mummy 

We didn't do much today but your grown up hair, questions about being a baby, and fear of mean tomatoes all made me love you a tiny bit more x

17 January 2014

A bloggers award....

This is a bloggers award which you get nominated for by other bloggers and it's a nice way of sharing blogs you like with others. All you have to do is...

+ Link back to nominator
+ Write 11 facts about yourself
+ Nominate 10 bloggers (less than 200 followers) and let them know!
+ Create 10 questions for nominees

So, my nomination comes from my ever so slightly biased friend, Louisa, but she does loves my blog and hers is fab too :) http://www.myfamilyandabruzzo.com/

am nominating Bex Harding. Her baby boy has Talipes like my Molly and I've enjoyed reading her journey with Talipes and everything else in her life. Very honest and real. http://busybeemummybex.blogspot.co.uk/

1. I used to be an Army Cadet Force instructor
2. I was born in Margate, Kent
3. My (now very public) guilty pleasure is Made in Chelsea
4. My favourite film is Arthur Hiller's Love Story (1970) - it's the saddest story but the most beautiful film
5. My top 3 favourite places I've been to are New York, Rome and Abruzzo
6. I like painting (pictures, not walls)
7. I would love some red shoes but have never found the perfect pair. I'll keep looking.
8. I knew I was going to have a daughter (and I don't believe in all that superstitious nonsense)
9. My dream is to write a book
10. I love Yorkshire
11. Tracey Emin fascinates me and Caitlin Moran makes me laugh

Louisa's questions to me:

What would be your last supper?
Roast lamb with everything!
Who is your favourite author and why? (can't choose so, I'm cheating with 2)
Charlotte Bronte - because she wrote Jane Eyre, she gained critical acclaim against all the odds and her books have inspired me at every phase of my life
Joanne Harris - because Chocolat is so good that I feel I know Vianne and Anouk as friends. That's when a story becomes art. When you see yourself in it. 
What is your favourite painting? 
John Everett Millais' 'Ophelia'
You can spend the day in London, where do you go?
It would be summer! I'd go to the Tate Gallery, walk by the river and have lunch in the park. I have always wanted to visit the Charles Dickens Museum so I should probably do that on my imaginary trip and, as there's so much time in my imagination, I'd also look round St Paul's cathedral and have tea at The Ritz! 
If you could live anywhere in the world you wanted, where would that be?
Clearly throwing practicalities to the wind here but I would live in Paris, in an old townhouse, with window boxes full of flowers, opposite a bakery and coffee shop, with a balcony which you can see the Eiffel Tower from. Not much to ask....
Money and success, or dream job and happiness?
I am going to go for success, dream job and happiness. Can I do that? 
If you could cure/solve one thing in the world, what would that be?
If you could be fluent in a second (or third) language, what language would you choose?
Hong Kong or Tokyo?
Hong Kong
Happiness is......
Being content with no worries

My questions:

- Where would your dream holiday be? 
- What music makes you happy?
- If you won £1m, what's the first thing you'd buy?
- And where would you live?
- If you were Prime Minister for a day, what would you change?
- What's your earliest memory?
- What's your favourite ever TV show?
- If you could turn a book into a film, which hasn't been done before, which book would you choose? 
- City or countryside?
- if you could go for coffee with anyone in the world...?