27 February 2015

My girl

I didn't give you life, I think that it gave you to me. That's how I see it anyway. You are just growing up, like any kid does. But whilst you do it, you are changing me, in a way that only having you can. You took the fragmented pieces of me when you were born and you held them in your little hands and gave them back to me, a completed puzzle. It all makes sense. I'm not superstitious, or religious, or all that spritual, but I believe that I was meant to have you. 
This morning you seemed sad. I asked you what was wrong and you said, "the thing is Mummy, there was going to be a carnival today in our house but all the actors are sick and it's cancelled." You looked so serious and sad. I couldn't reduce your make-believe carnival to something that's not real and doesn't matter, so I gave you a cuddle and we talked about rescheduling the carnival. 

I feel your emotions, as strongly as I feel my own. I laugh when you do, your tears are my tears, I feel your pain and share in your excitement. What I long for is that you will somehow see yourself through my eyes as you grow up. Care about yourself as much as I do and always want for yourself as much as I want for you. My little girl, my world. 

Love you  x

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